Five Tips For Therapeutic Talking
SAFETY
Make sure the person you are talking to is trustworthy. It is disheartening and can be retraumitizing if your words get thrown back at you or misinterpreted. If the person is someone you know will listen to you without judgement, they are safe. If you know they will not use what you tell them as a weapon at a later date, they are safe. And if you know that what you tell them will go no further, they are safe. Safety is crucial for any therapeutic talking. They should let you vent and ramble in a quiet, open space.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT DETAILS
Now that you have your safe person, remember you are not on trial. A traumatized brain is a jumbled mess. You won’t remember things in order or accurately. The important thing is to let how you feel and what you remember flow. The pieces will all come together eventually. The most natural settings are while you are doing something or as the moments come to you.
REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT
You’re going to tell this story a million times before you can say it without crying. I hated to burn people out, but the memories were constantly on my mind. By sharing how I was feeling in the moment, others could walk me through which fears were legit and which were blown out of proportion. I went over the details constantly in my mind. It was a huge pressure relief to release the details to an outside source and gain validation for the pain I was feeling.
BE PREPARED FOR AFTERWARDS
So you found a safe person and you completely vented all your pain to them. The release feels wonderful and you walk away smiling. Only to completely fall apart and shut down half an hour later. What just happened? Think of it like changing the bandage on a wound. It’s necessary for healing, but you retear the wound in changing it. Digging into your past memories is necessary for healing, but it causes an avalanche of emotions. Don’t be afraid to feel your way through it. Just be prepared for it so it doesn’t catch you off guard.
DO IT AGAIN
However many times it takes, tell your story. You need to work through it and other people need to hear it. Who knows how many people will be impacted by what you experienced and how you survived it. Tell your story. Write your story. Sing your story. Let it become a beautiful thread in the tapestry of your life. Tell it again and again until it is over.
Be Better. Do Different.
